"Grace uses photography to help heal sexual abuse survivors by photographing them with posters that hold quotes from their attackers."
This is a trigger warning, as reading through these quotes and photos can get quite distressing and emotionally draining - I found that after reading through a few, it becomes hard not to empathise with the survivors, to which you just need to take a step back and have a break. It's ok to feel this way. We can help those in need. Let people know that we are there for them. That it is not their fault. Victims of sexual abuse are never at fault.
However, we very much live in a society which promotes a blame culture to those who are victims of sexual abuse - the victim was wearing something that could be seen as revealing? Their fault. The victim was drunk? Their fault. The victim gave consent then changed their mind? Their fault.
This is disgusting; we are telling people not to walk alone at night, not to get drunk, whereas we should be telling people not to sexually abuse. If people take the brave decision to report what they have been through to the police, they are faced with disapproval and incredulity; and when they are taken seriously, the way they are treated in court is sickening. The victim is treated like a criminal and, in extreme cases, arrested.
This type of blame culture is reinforced by the increasingly common normalisation of rape in Western society: I am sure those of you familiar with social media have heard terms such as 'frape', 'twape', etc. These depict the event when you have left your Facebook/Twitter logged in, and someone else updates your account pretending to be you, often a 'funny' comment such as "[Insert name here] is gay!!!" or "I like dicks!!!" (This also brings up issues of homophobia which I hope to explore further in another post). The comparison of the violation of having someone else post online as you and the violation of rape/sexual abuse is making rape seem ok. It makes rape seem as if it's just a laughing matter, a joke; as if being raped is exactly the same as having someone post as you.
This trivialises the word [rape] completely and with it, its victims - victims of sexual abuse are taken far less seriously than others. They will be brushed off, shouted at, and blamed for it. Not to mention it is horribly insensitive - I don't think the reaction would be quite the same if people were joking about cancer, do you? Cancer seems to connect everyone; however sexual abuse is far more common than we think. But we need to raise awareness of it. Stop the assumptions and ignorance. Inform. Help to give victims of sexual abuse a voice. Because they may be too scared to speak up for themselves the way society is going at the moment.
For more help and advice, please visit RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) If you need to talk to someone, they have a free, 24/7 online hotline that is completely confidential here.
There is a site for those in the UK called Rape Crisis - they have a freephone hotline 0808 802 9999 (unfortunately it is not available 24/7) - which you can call between 12 - 2.30pm and 7 - 9.30pm.
